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Welcome to Portland oregon swingers Willamette Week 's new sex advice column written by Portland portland oregon swingers educator and intimacy coach, Stella Harris. Ever had a question about sex and relationships but didn't know who to ask? Maybe you've wondered how to ask your partner for butt stuff, or an open relationship, or how to finally admit that actually, you haven't been having orgasms. Maybe you've got a fetish you've never told anyone about, but you're dying to explore.

This is the place for you. Not only that, but Humptown will give you specific local resources whenever portlandd to help facilitate the sex life of your dreams. For starters, orgon going to talk about how to go to your first sex party. For many folks, sex parties are a kind of sexual holy grail.

Portland oregon swingers you fall into that camp, you're in luck, because Portland is a very sexy town, with several venues for public sex orehon. My personal favorite is Privatalocated in the former Club Sesso space downtown. The idea of a sex club might sound impossibly intimidating. It took me years to work up the guts to go. But now I'm a regular who feels more comfortable there than at most bars. People are usually shocked when I say that, but here's the thing—sex and kink venues have party hosts portland oregon swingers staff whose whole job is to make sure you feel safe, and that people are following the rules.

You're swingees more likely to get groped at portland oregon swingers average bar than you are at a sex party. Most venues even have signs up to remind people to ask before they touch.

I feel so safe at the club that I recently had portland oregon swingers internet hook-up meet me at Privata. When we'd discussed which one of us would host, he sounded just cagey enough to send up a yellow flag, so I suggested a public place always a good idea where argyll man seeking petite black women could also fuck if things ended up going that way bonus!

Suddenly this dashing foreign doctor who portland oregon swingers been all confidence thai massage los feliz dick pics was shy and out of his element, and I appreciated the new more level playing field.

It also reminded me of my first time, and how nervous I'd been about what was waiting for me behind the double portland oregon swingers. We checked in at the front desk, walked in together, and… it looks like any other club portland oregon swingers town. There's a dance floor, a bar, and a seating area—and portland oregon swingers a buffet.

For better or worse, going to a public sex party isn't like walking into a scene from Eyes Wide Shut. Just about every venue has a big main area for socializing so you've got a chance to get your bearings before you see anyone naked. Also, public parties aren't free-for-all orgies, most of the time there's a lot more socializing than fucking. Not only that, but just going to watch is a-ok. After all, the exhibitionists need an audience.

The doctor got us drinks and I gave him the grand tour. He'd seen the first floor as we walked through so we headed upstairs. The second level has several private rooms some with windows so you can show off if you'd like and an orgy area.

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The orgy beds are surrounded portland oregon swingers a bar, like the rack at a strip club stage, so you can watch from near-by, while maintaining a respectful distance. The rest of the second floor has a couple of seating areas, one surrounding a stripper-pole, and a balcony overlooking the massage west virginia floor.

Next up we headed for the third floor, which has portland oregon swingers bar, several seating areas and a large space designated for couples and groups. The couples area is my personal swingres, and where I do most of my play. I've done everything from a game of spin-the-bottle with a bunch of my friends there, to a birthday orgy where I pegged the birthday boy.

There are no doors in the couples area, instead there are several large, semi-private spaces with beds. Portland oregon swingers solo folks aren't allowed in this space you've still got an audience, but it's an audience of folks who often have their hands full with each other, which is the perfect level of exhibitionism for me.

If this story has you eager to give Privata a try, check out my favorite of their events; Deviance! It's their regular kink night, and it happens on the third Thursday of every month. Perhaps best portland oregon swingers all for the new and curious, at the Deviance party you don't need to be a member of the club.

Because of the kink theme, half of the dance floor becomes a temporary dungeon, with St. Andrew's crosses, a spanking bench and a massage table. The orgy beds on the second floor get taken swinggers portland oregon swingers rope bondage enthusiasts, because there are hard-points over the beds for suspension.

All this extra eye candy makes the kink night an especially good night for newcomers even portland oregon swingers you're vanilla! We've got at least three sex clubs, and several more venues that cater specifically to kink.

Perhaps best of all, they have lots of sexy burlesque style performances, so it's very looking 4 a buddy and a lover to just go and watch while you're getting your sex club sea legs.

The newest sexy venue in town is Sanctuary just a block away from Powell's and they host themed parties to fit just about any taste and. Best of all, they portland oregon swingers low-key Friday meet-and-greets that are free if you arrive before 9 pm. Every party and venue has its own culture and portland oregon swingers, ogegon check out the website and read through big dating women the info including the dress code and any other policies that portland oregon swingers affect you.

Most websites also have portlnd or a virtual tour, and those can help reduce some stress about swiingers you're getting yourself.

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Portland oregon swingers venues provide some safer sex supplies, but the options can be limited. If you want anything other than a standard latex condom, it's a good idea to bring your. I like to keep non-latex condoms, dental pottland and nitrile gloves with me. Lube isn't always available either, so I've usually got a few sample packs of Sliquid in my purse. If the public scene isn't your jam, you can portland oregon swingers throw your own sex party.

That might seem daunting at first, but there are ways to milf cock shock into it.

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Discrete hookup Moncton nm great way to start is by throwing a party that's sexy, but doesn't include sex. I've seen portland oregon swingers from an erotica reading party to a spin-the-bottle party work really. This gives people who aren't used to public or group play a gentle way to ease into the idea and decide portland oregon swingers it's for.

It's also a way for you to start curating which of your friends is a good fit for a more hot-and-heavy get. You want to know how people will handle themselves in a sexually charged environment, and how on point portland oregon swingers communication skills are.

Speaking of communication, make agreements in advance with the date s or friends you're attending. Is slipping off to play alone acceptable, or are you sticking together?

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Are you leaving swingerss, or separately? If there are partners in the mix, make sure you've talked about what boundaries you each have about play with other folks, including needs around safer sex. Don't portland oregon swingers any big decisions for the heat of the moment and don't spring any surprises on someone after the fact.

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Whether you go the public or private route, you might be surprised by how safe and fun public, portland oregon swingers semi-public sex can be. And sex with friends is truly the ultimate bonding experience.

Have you got a burning question of your own? Email askhumptown wweek.

Stella Harris is changing the way people experience their sex lives. A national and international speaker, Stella teaches everything from pleasure anatomy, to communication skills, to kink and BDSM.

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Share on Pinterest. Share on Tumblr. Share on WhatsApp. Share on SMS. Share via Email. Share on Whatsapp. Share on Google Plus. By Stella Harris. Become a Friend of Willamette Week. Get Portland stories portland oregon swingers to your inbox. We'll send you a newsletter with what you need to know swingees week.

About Stella Harris Stella Harris is changing the way people experience their sex lives. Most Read.