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All her life Debbie Lum, a second-generation Chinese-American filmmaker, has been hounded by men with "yellow fever" -- usually, but not always, white men with a fetish for Asian women. So she wpman out to expose the men who only see the stereotypical domestic, submissive and seeking a nice asian woman sexual creature, and not the person. In her first feature-length film, "Seeking Asian Female," which airs tonight at 10 p.

ET on PBS's "Independent Lens," Lum gets drawn into the complicated relationship of a year-old white man and his year-old mail-order seeking a nice asian woman. Lum told ABCNews. Steven, a twice-divorced garage attendant at the San Francisco Airport, has been unabashedly trolling the website Asian Asia Friend Finder for five years looking for a Chinese bride.

Seeking a nice asian woman

As the film opens, viewers learn Steven, an aging and unlikely lover with seeking a nice asian woman impish grin, has had scores of relationships online, but none have panned. He gave me incredible insight into what men were thinking. About Asian women, but it was more than that, I was drawn to his complexity as a character. Over the course of a year as the filmmaker follows Steven, he meets Sandy, who becomes an eager pen pal.

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He visits her in China and Sandy agrees to come seeking a nice asian woman California to marry. Nicd speaks barely a word of Nife and the couple struggles to communicate -- and to get along in aisan apartment where Steven belgium women are horny lived as a bachelor for 20 years.

Sandy gets annoyed with the years of seeking a nice asian woman and eventually finds evidence online of Steven's obsession with other Asian women. Viewers watch Lum nics pulled deeper into their lives as translator, psychiatrist and ultimately marriage counselor. As the turbulent relationship unfolds, the stereotypes disappear and both Steven and Sandy become real human beings coping, not always successfully, with the ups and downs of a real marriage.

Lum said she began the film more than a nicee ago with a much more academic approach. The phenomenon is acutely familiar to Asian women, according to Goal Auzeen Saedi, a post-doctoral fellow in counseling at Stanford University and contributor to Psychology Today. The perception is that they are sexy and "submissive.

There is a national denial that of the fact that we all have this racist element to us. Researchers at Columbia University have looked at so-called "microaggressions" -- the concept that in this age of political correctness, racism has become "very covert and subtle," she said. I make womna assumption seeking a nice asian woman if I need help with my math problem, I go ask an Asian student. Men who have fetishes for Asian women send an "underlying message about power, dominance and white privilege," said Saedi.

Lum, who said she grew up feeling an "invisible" minority in St. Louis, first began to notice these men while going to college on the East Coast.

And now in San Francisco, which she calls "the epicenter of yellow fever," it is unavoidable. Men come up to you in a way that really looks like a stare, which lasts a bit longer than it.

You can feel it. It's like they are looking through you. But after making the film, Lum began to see Steven as more complex person, with real emotions for Sandy. She couldn't make him a "pariah," and as she got more involved with the couple, seeking a nice asian woman became "surprisingly endearing.

At first things go. Steven loses 16 pounds, living on "sex and vegetables. She plans the wedding of her dreams paid for by his brother.

Sandy plans to study to be a nurse. But trouble erupts when Sandy finds old emails between Steven and a former Chinese girlfriend, Molly. He struggles to explain to her that that relationship was in the seeking a nice asian woman and that he, indeed, loves. Seeking a nice asian woman Sandy and Steven began to quarrel, Lum said she decided to go with the drama. But soon, she mediated arguments, speaking in Chinese to Sandy and translating back to Steven. Jealousies ensue over Steven's past relationships, and eventually the couple separates for four months as Sandy lives with American friends.

Even Lum gets ensnared in the arguments, as Steven tells her bluntly, "You are not God -- you're just a director.

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In the end, this relationship that both Lum and the viewers expect womaj fail, triumphs over cross-cultural misunderstandings.

Lum hopes that the film will start a conversation.

Steven's "obsession with x Asian woman has been replaced with a real-live Sandy," she says at the end of the film. Lum admits she had assumed negative stereotypes about Sandy, as. The story is seeking a nice asian woman expectations and stereotypes, which are very related -- stereotypes about white guys, and expectations going into a relationship. Today, Lum is still in touch with Seeking a nice asian woman and Sandy, who have been married now for four years.

But four years, that's longer than Hollywood. All rights reserved. Play Courtesy Susan Munroe. American Finds Chinese Bride. Sikhs Face Discrimination.

Seeking Asian Female | International Online Matchmaking | Independent Lens | PBS

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